The Lord taught me something profound this week, but He did it in the oddest way. I’m still trying to wrap my brain around it. I’m smiling about His creativity now, but I’ll admit that, at the time, I couldn’t understand what He was doing AT ALL. It’s a good thing I love Him so much, because I was sorely tempted to tell Him He was crazy.
Just so you know the back story, my life has been immensely stressful over the last few months. Well, maybe the entire last year. (I’m sure that’s obvious by how much I’ve been blogging lol.) I’ve been holding it together the best I can and I’ve felt His strength come in many different moments, but it’s definitely taken a toll on me. So lately I’d been praying for the load to be lightened. I’m guessing you know the promise as well as I do:
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
“For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).
I’d read those words a thousand times, and I’d even experienced that many times for myself over the years. So a few weeks ago, I began turning to the Lord in full confidence that He could do the same thing for me again. And the strangest thing happened:
I was asked to preside over our church women’s organization (Relief Society President for those who know the speak). It’s one of the busiest assignments in our congregation, and there it was being dropped right in my lap.
Now, I knew immediately that the assignment had come from the Lord. I knew it was what HE wanted me to do—not just a request from my local church leaders. But it still didn’t make any sense. I’d been pleading with Him to lessen my burden, and He goes and make it 100 times heavier?? I felt like cocking my head and looking heavenward and asking, “Um, did you not hear what I’ve been asking for?”
All kidding aside, I’ve done quite a bit of soul searching this week. As I’ve come to the Lord’s feet in desperation to know His will and how to move forward with this new assignment, the scripture I quoted above was pressed again and again into my mind, along with this one specific thought:
If the load is heavy, Jaci, it’s because you’re not letting Me carry it.
I thought again about the promises He made in Matthew 11. In the end, His yoke really should feel light. Even EASY. Like carrying nothing at all. And what I realized is that I often assume the only way He can do that is to change the circumstances of my life. To lessen my actual demands in some way so I can find rest.
But the truth is, He’s offering us an even greater miracle in that verse. It’s rest right in the middle of the storm. Strength right in the very depth of our weakness. Peace when peace is the last thing we should be able to feel.
That’s what His grace can do.
Through His power, we can receive supernatural strength to do things we’d never, ever be able to accomplish on our own. And suddenly I knew that relying on His grace in a whole new way is the only thing that will keep me afloat in the months ahead.
Yes, I’ve relied on His strength in the past, but I think I’d gotten lazy about it lately. I was just going through the motions, taking it for granted even. This new assignment woke me up to the kind of whole-souled, moment-to-moment dependence on Christ that I’d been missing. And it felt good to make that connection.
It reminded me of the words of Russell M. Nelson: “When you reach up for the Lord’s power in your life with the same intensity that a drowning person has when grasping and gasping for air, power from Jesus Christ will be yours.”
I’ve definitely felt like I’ve been drowning in stress. And the way out was right there in front of me. All I had to do was grab a hold of it with all the energy of my heart.
So even though my load is definitely still heavy and there’s a ton of responsibility on my plate, it doesn’t feel like such a huge burden anymore. One much stronger than me has offered to shoulder the load, so I’m going to do all I can to let Him.
In fact, I’ve decided that’s my motto for 2019:
If the load is heavy, it’s because I’m not letting Him carry it.
Um, congratulations!? 😉 🙏🤗