It’s been a tough week. In addition to the hormones kicking in (oh, how I love PMS!), we have an awful lot going on right now. Our missionary leaves in a week so there’s that. But I also have some other stuff—stuff that I can’t really do anything about, but I keep worrying about it anyway. I woke up this morning feeling overwhelmed by the enormity of it all. As I lay there in bed, I couldn’t keep the fear from stirring around and around in my mind. I watched as my thoughts jumped from this worry to that worry and then back again. I hate that. It feels like this out-of-control merry-go-round. There’s no peace—just worry, stress, and fear fighting for control of my mind. Not a fun way to start the day.
So right there in bed before my feet even hit the floor, I started to pray. Started to beg, really. I know what happens when I get like this. All that crazy worrying follows me around all day and I don’t get a moment of peace. But thankfully I’ve finally learned exactly how to get out of that cycle. It’s only through the strength of the Lord. Only He can pull me out of that mental abyss and bring me to a place of peace and trust. So I took the whole mess and laid it at His feet, believing with Nephi that, “my God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss” (2 Nephi 4:35).
I’ll be honest—as I continued to pray it felt like a tug-of-war for a little while, with my thoughts trying to pull me back to the stress and my heart trying to pull me toward the Lord. But finally, the peace came. I immediately felt my mind settle down and the Lord’s love began to encircle my heart and calm my thoughts. It was a beautiful moment and it reminded me again why the gospel of Jesus Christ means so much to me.
Tell me: where else in the world can we find such all-consuming, all-encompassing love? Where else? It brings to mind another verse from Nephi: “the love of God, which sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men; wherefore, it is the most desirable above all things. . . .Yea, and the most joyous to the soul” (1 Nephi 11:21-23). I can definitely testify of that today. I tasted His love for myself this morning and it made my heart soar with love for Him in return. It was personal and intimate and soul-filling . . . and it made me want to stay in that beautiful place for the rest of the day. So rather than devoting my mind to worrying about things I can’t change, I’m dedicating it to my precious Redeemer and to living each moment wrapped in His priceless, unfailing love.
(After going through the temple with Kimball. He leaves for the Las Vegas mission on August 5th.)